One of my favorite lessons of my student teaching year was “Flowers for the Living.” Inspired by a poignant quote commonly misattributed to Anne Frank, the eleventh grade English teaching team created an opportunity for students to show gratitude to someone in their lives by sending a simple (well-written) letter.
“Dead people receive more flowers than living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude.”
—Unknown
The quote above was a powerful reminder that we often forget to show gratitude to the people in our lives until it’s too late. But a simple “thank you” text or grocery store greeting card wasn’t enough. We wanted to create an opportunity for deep reflection and deep gratitude. So we went old-school and taught our students how to write, address, and send letters.
We gave them time to think of someone who had had a positive impact in their development as a person. The letters would be sent for real, so students had to choose someone whose address was “findable.”
As part of the assignment, we instructed students in the basics of letter-writing, including:
- How to start a letter
- What to include in a letter
- How to sign a letter
- How to address a letter
- How to send a letter
And of course, as English teachers, we also used this as an opportunity to teach composition and organization of thoughts. Generally, we found that students picked people they truly wanted to impress, which meant that for once, the skills we were trying to teach them felt immediately applicable.
Students wanted to send a very specific message to someone special in their lives: you matter, and you’re appreciated.
We asked them, “How easy is it to believe someone when they tell you something like that?”
Most of them said that words like “thanks” and “you matter” felt a little fake sometimes. It’s just something you “say” at the right times, like “Excuse me” and “Please.” Words to be polite that now lacked a heartfelt meaning.
Having that conversation helped students understand why we needed to send a long letter that showed this appreciation rather than just used these polite but meaningless words. But we didn’t give our 11th-graders ye olde “show, don’t tell” advice and throw them to the wolves. This was the beginning of the year, after all.
Instead, we outfitted them with the following kit:
- Connect: Has it been a long time since you’ve seen this person? Give them a little update on what you’ve been doing, how you’ve been feeling, what your dreams for the future are.
- Anecdotes: Think of specific moments with this person. How did those moments help you? How did they shape who you are?
- Sensory details: Sensory details make stories come to life. If you’re telling a short story, try to use your senses to recall how things felt, tasted, smelled, and what you heard or saw. This will help the other person recall the moment better, too.
- Focus: Remember that this letter is all about them, not you. How did they help you? What about them do you appreciate?
- Who: Consider people who have helped you in your life. They could be a family member, teacher, friend, coach, spiritual leader, or other loved one who touched your life.
Sometimes, it can be hard to get juniors excited about English assignments. But the response to this one was genuinely heartwarming. The vast majority of my 175 students were excited at the chance to brighten someone’s day, especially someone they cared deeply about. We started referring to our letters as a “little bit of sunshine” we’d be putting in someone’s mailbox just in time for Thanksgiving. We all had a lot of fun with this assignment, and the letters turned out wonderfully.
Before sending out these “flowers for the living” letters, we also completed a few “quality control” steps to ensure they were ready:
- Read-aloud: As homework during early drafts, students read their letter out loud to themselves. This helped them identify awkward sentence constructions and unintentional meanings, among other things.
- Peer review: This step was a bit touchy, but in general went well. We allowed students to pick their peer reviewer and instructed reviewers not to focus on anything other than helping their fellow student get across a message of gratitude.
- Teaching conference: Students met with either myself or my mentor teacher for a one-on-one 3-minute feedback session. Letters were generally one page, typed, so we could read them and give feedback fairly quickly. We helped students polish any grammar and spelling errors that had made it through spellcheck and Grammarly and gave advice for any needed revisions or edits.
At last, on “Gratitude Day,” students brought two final copies of their “flowers for the living” letters. One they turned in to us for grading, and the other, they folded carefully into envelopes we provided. Students were encouraged to bring their own envelopes from home if they wished something more snazzy than plain white mailers. We blasted some upbeat music (Taylor Swift was a popular choice) and I brought gel glitter pens for anyone who wanted to sparkle up their address.
Best of all, we mailed all the letters on the school district’s dime. Over the next few months, we heard so many stories of students getting phone calls or letters back from their recipients, who were overjoyed at receiving their “flowers for the living” letters. When we sent out our “Year End Review” questionnaire for students, the overwhelming majority chose “Flowers for the Living” as their favorite assignment of the year. While we’d done many fun things in the other 3/4 of the year following this assignment, I know why “flowers for the living” stuck with my students: at a time of their lives when teens are so desperate to have an effect on the world, we gave them the opportunity to make a difference.
This is a great activity for students young and old. I could see it being used in a first grade classroom as much as a twelfth grade one. Do you want to try writing “Flowers for the Living” letters with your students? Simply sign up to my blog’s mailing list, and I’ll send you two resources: the “Flowers for the Living” instructions and my standard “Peer Review” questionnaire. Or, visit my Teachers pay Teachers store to find them as free downloads.
Wishing you days filled with gratitude ahead.